Year of the moth – a conversation with Mrs Terry

A busy office. Much tapping of keys and bustling about. The phone rings and a generic work-based greeting is given. By me.

“Hello sweetheart, are you at work?”
It’s 2.40pm on Tuesday. “Yes, I’m at work, Mum. Is everything alright?”

“Oh yes sweetheart. I was just ringing to tell you that this is the year of the moth.”

Small pause while I try to adjust my brain into Mrs Terry mode. “It’s what, Mum?”

“I’ve been reading everywhere that this is the year of the moth so I was wondering if you could go on ‘the internet’ for me and buy some moth spray.”


“Only if it’s convenient, sweetheart.”

“Ok… sure, I’m only in work.”

“Hang on sweetheart, I’ll just go and find Good Housekeeping, I think it was in Good Housekeeping…”

Sound of Mrs Terry putting down the (cordless) phone on the hall table and doddering off, shuffling through menopause monthlies, treading on the dog etc.

Sound of footsteps in Scholls gets louder again.

“Here we go, sweetheart, the web address is w w w dot…” (slow spelling out of web address letter by letter in manner of speaking to the deaf/idiotic, which perhaps she is).

NB. Terry Terry and Mrs Terry have a very swish laptop and high-speed wireless internet, both of which they refuse to use because they are afraid of “spam”. None of us are entirely sure what they mean by this.

“Ok Mum, I’m on the site, is it the rose organic moth spray that’s £26 you’re after?”

“No sweetheart, it’s not that.”

“Is it the organic moth spray?”

“No sweetheart, it’s not that.”

“Is it the moth spray?”

“That’s the one sweetheart, it’s £26”.

There was only one moth-spray on the website.

“It’s sold out Mum, sorry. But I’ve set an email reminder so they’ll message you as soon as one comes in stock.”

“Oh”. An “oh” that registers shock, disappointment and more sadness then I thought moth spray was capable of inspiring.

“Ok sweetheart, I’ll let you get on.”
A sigh and Mrs Terry dodders off, presumably to wage a quiet war on moths, without any weapon other than her wits.


About terryterryandtheterriers

Journalist, cheese fancier, dog adoration magnet. Contact: georgina dot terry at gmail dot com Twitter: @georginaterry
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