In three sleeps time I’ll be jetting off to Barbados, woo! Terry Terry had a remarkable run of luck on the lottery coupled with a small inheritance (remind me to tell you about the fist fight at the funeral) and decided to spend his not-so-hard-earned on a Caribbean cruise for the four of us.
Good old Terry Terry.
However, while I’m very excited about lording it up on the love boat there are a number of little worries.
1. Terry Terry has booked Philly Terry and I into a disabled cabin. He has given no explanation for this. Neither of us is disabled.
When I brought this up with Philly she pointed out that everything in the cabin will be low so we can roll from the bed to the bathroom. I’m not sure why this is a plus.
2. Philly Terry has reminded me several times to pack my PE kit as she’s trying to get me to do a marathon with her. She is living in a dream world. I would like to spend the cruise sipping Barribu, smoking spiff (his word) with Terry Terry and hitting the all you can eat buffet, pretty much in that order. Philly ‘Super Jock’ Terry has other plans and has even mentioned a jungle trek. Maybe I’ll lower myself in and out of the disabled tub on the bath lift a few times and feign some kind of sprain until she gets the idea.
3. Pirates! There was an amazing story in the news last week about Somali pirates attempting to board a Saga cruise ship. Instead of freaking out at the sight of the skull and crossbones the old ones barricaded themselves in the piano bar and sipped Champagne while the pianist played variations on Rule Britannia. The cruise ship then out ran the pirate ship. Amazing.
I rang Mrs Terry to tell her the incredible story and while she initially laughed like a drain, she then got the fear. I pointed out to her that our boat will be in the Caribbean so if we do get boarded by pirates they’ll be Johnny Depp-alikes so we have nothing to be scared of. There was a small pause, then she asked: “But sweetheart, why was the Saga cruise in Somalia?”
She has a point.